On the other hand, vows have been made, but persons have contrived to
rid themselves of the inconveniences without breaking them, reminding
us of Benedick, who finding the charms of his "Dear Lady Disdain" too
much for his celibate resolves, gets out of his difficulty by
declaring that "When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I
should live till I were married." Equally ludicrous, also, is the
story told of a certain man, who, greatly terrified in a storm, vowed
he would eat no haberdine, but, just as the danger was over, he
qualified his promise with "Not without mustard, O Lord." And
Voltaire, in one of his romances, represents a disconsolate widow
vowing that she will never marry again, "so long as the river flows by
the side of the hill." But a few months afterwards the widow recovers
from her grief, and, contemplating matrimony, takes counsel with a
clever engineer. He sets to work, the river is deviated from its
course, and, in a short time, it no longer flows by the side of the
hill. The lady, released from her vow, does not allow many days to
elapse before she exchanges her weeds for a bridal veil. However far
fetched this little romance may be, a veritable instance of thus
keeping the letter of the vow and neglecting the spirit, was recorded
not so very long ago: A Salopian parish clerk seeing a woman crossing
the churchyard with a bundle and a watering can, followed her, curious
to know what intentions might be, and discovered that she was a widow
of a few months' standing. Inquiring what she was going to do with the
watering pot, she informed him that she had been obtaining some grass
seed to sow on her husband's grave, and had brought a little water to
make it spring up quickly. The clerk told her there was no occasion to
trouble, the grave would be green in good time. "Ah! that may be," she
replied, "but my poor husband made me take a vow not to marry again
until the grass had grown over his grave, and, having a good offer, I
do not wish to break my vow, or keep as I am longer than I can help."