abruptly, as if they had already been conversing on the subject.
'When you think of my failures--and you must often do so now you
are grown up and understand things--don't forget the obstacles
that have been in my way. I don't like you to look upon your
father as a thickhead who couldn't be expected to succeed. Look
at Fadge. He married a woman of good social position; she brought
him friends and influence. But for that he would never have been
editor of The Study, a place for which he wasn't in the least
fit. But he was able to give dinners; he and his wife went into
society; everybody knew him and talked of him. How has it been
with me? I live here like an animal in its hole, and go blinking
about if by chance I find myself among the people with whom I
ought naturally to associate. If I had been able to come in
direct contact with Rackett and other men of that kind, to dine
with them, and have them to dine with me, to belong to a club,
and so on, I shouldn't be what I am at my age. My one
opportunity--when I edited The Balance--wasn't worth much; there
was no money behind the paper; we couldn't hold out long enough.
But even then, if I could have assumed my proper social standing,
if I could have opened my house freely to the right kind of
people-- How was it possible?'

Marian could not raise her head. She recognised the portion of
truth in what he said, but it shocked her that he should allow
himself to speak thus. Her silence seemed to remind him how
painful it must be to her to hear these accusations of her
mother, and with a sudden 'Good-night' he dismissed her.

She went up to her room, and wept over the wretchedness of all
their lives. Her loneliness had seemed harder to bear than ever