Alas for my dignified hat,
My proud hat!
Woe to my lofty-crowned hat!

It survived, but it had a weak side,
And so had its wearer, perchance,
Since I left it on stairs to abide,
At a house where I went to a dance.
A lady ran into my hat,
My poor hat!
She demolished my invalid hat!




INNOCENT SURPRISES.


I am somewhat inclined to the opinion, that, if positive legislation
could be brought to bear upon this subject, making it a criminal
offence for one person deliberately to concoct and designedly to
spring a surprise upon another, society would derive incalculable
benefit from the act. For the ordinary and inevitable surprises of
every-day life are sufficiently frequent and startling to content even
the most romantic disposition; entirely dispensing with the necessity
of those artfully contrived, embarrassing little plots which one's
friends occasionally set in motion, greatly to their own diversion and
the extreme discomfort of the surprised unfortunate. For he who has
ever broken his skull on a treacherous sidewalk, or received from the
post a dunning missive when he expected a love-letter, or arrived one