Pierpont--well acquainted with Uncle Sam. All of a sudden he laughed
outright, saying I was ignorant of the _why and how to do, diplomacy_
of Washington. What it is impossible to get you must always say you
never wanted; and what is within your reach, always say was far beyond
our expectations. Meantime, be a philosopher, and act with apparent
indifference to what is going on around you: never tell a friend you
are worth less than one hundred thousand dollars. Upon such an
hypothesis you may face the General, talk profound (here and there in
parenthesis letting out your knowledge of foreign affairs), but never
give him to understand that you can extract crooked and put straight
ideas into his head--above all, be sure and feel as independent as a
wood-sawyer at two dollars a day. Play well your face, and a spoil of
the game just won will be yours. Marcy is father of this principle!
Heed not the sympathy between your heart and head,--while the one
feels high never let the other play low. Accept anything the General
may be pleased to offer, adding that it is in respect to his great
talent and your anxiety to keep respectable his foreign affairs; and
think how you belie your conscience the while. Now, Smooth, you will
see how open-armed the General will be to see me!'

"I told Mr. Pierpont how glad I was to hear it, seeing that it might
be the means of putting me through on the same hook. Without
hesitation, he said he would do what he could. Had I fought in the
Mexican war the case would have been different--had I been true to the
South, the case had been very different: the distinctions here
enumerated brought down the scale. 'However, the General and me are
one, having fought by his side in Mexico, and you shall be put
through.' So saying, we proceeded on our way, reaching in a few
minutes the White House, the gardens of which we found transplanted
with citizens--set here and there as thick as the gardener's tulips.