"Now is our hen-roosts safe!"

"Canada on its way to Mexico!"

"Poor Mexico--we bewail thy fate!"

Our march resembled very much that uv the childern uv Isrel. Our noses
wuz the pillers uv fire by nite, and our breath the piller uv smoke by
day.

On our arrival to Mexico, the natives of that country, struck probably
with awe at the majestic and flamin expression uv our countenances,
hastily gathered up their linen, and silver spoons, and hosses, and
sich, and retreated to the mountains. It wuz a kompliment to us that
them ez hadn't ennything remained.

Finally we reached a plain, where we, the modern childern uv Isrel,
decided to remane, and, uv course, the fust thing to do wuz to form a
guvernment.

Methawt Fernandy Wood, uv New York, wuz chosen viva voce, ez President,
and he stept forerd to hev the oath administered to him, wich wuz 2 be
dun by the oldest Justis uv the Peece uv the late stait uv Noo Gersey,
wich hez committed sooicide. Here a new trouble ensood--there wuzn't a
bible to be found in the whole encampment. The difficulty wuz got over
by a New York Alderman yellin out, "Never mind the oath. What's the
yoose uv any oath _he_ takes?" So he wuz declared President.

Prest. Wood then proceeded to organize. He requested sich ez hed held
commissions in the army uv the Yoonited States to step forerd three