city in the Yoonited Staits. I hed lived two months by passin myself off
ez Dimekratic Congressmen, but that cood only last a short time, there
not bein many uv that persuasion here to personate. I had gone the
rounds uv the House ez often ez it wuz safe, and one nite commenced on
the Senit. Goin into Willard's, I called for a go uv gin, wich the
gentlemanly and urbane bar keeper sot afore me, and I drank. "Put it
down with the rest uv mine," sez I, with a impressive wave uv the hand.

"Yoor name?" sez he.

Assoomin a intellectual look, I retorted, "Do you know Charles Sumner?"

[Illustration: DO YOU KNOW CHARLES SUMNER?]

Here I overdid it; here vaultin ambition o'er-leaped herself. Hed I sed
"Saulsbury," it mite have ansered, but to give Sumner's name for a drink
uv gin wuz a peece uv lunacy for wich I kan't account. I wuz
ignominiously kicked into the street. Drinks obtained at the expense uv
bein kicked is cheep, but I don't want em on them terms; my pride
revolted, and so I emigrated. The gentlemanly and urbane conductors uv
the Pennsylvania Central passed me over their road. They did it with the
assistance uv two gentlemanly and urbane brakesmen, wich dropped me
tenderly across the track, out uv the hind eend uv the last car.

I found here a church buildin, uv wich the congregation had bin mostly
killed in bushwhackin expeditions, and announsin myself ez a
constooshnel preacher from Noo Gersey, succeeded in drawin together a
highly respectable awjience last Sunday.

Takin for a text the passage, "The wagis uv sin is death," I opened out