pathway, and the fall uv the Dimocratic party, I came onto a party of
men borin for ile. Then the trooth flashed over me. Their operations
showed me the way to success--the shoor path to triumph.

"When," said I to myself, "when men seek gain they bore for it. They go
down--never up." Even so with the Dimocrisy. We dug downward, downward,
downward, through all the strata uv society. We went through the
groceries; the next stratum was the most ignorant uv the furiners; then
we struck the poor whites uv the South; then, below them, the heft uv
the people uv Noo Gersy; then Southern Illinoy and Indiana; then Pike
county, Missouri; and so on. We never went upward for converts, cause
'twant no use. When a man wanted to jine us he alluz hed to come down.
We got lots of converts.

There was a regular slidin scale, which the heft uv Democrats who wuznt
born in the party hev slid down; to wit:--

Quarter dollar smiles.

15 cent nips.

10 cent drinks.

5 cent sucks.

A flat flask conceeled.

A bottle openly.

Dimocrisy.