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Heart of the West by O. Henry
page 47 of 293 (16%)
I'm as damp as I can be from dancing so much."

"That's easy to account for," says I, "when you happen to know that
you've got two million sweat-glands working all at once. If every one
of your perspiratory ducts, which are a quarter of an inch long, was
placed end to end, they would reach a distance of seven miles."

"Lawsy!" says Mrs. Sampson. "It sounds like an irrigation ditch you
was describing, Mr. Pratt. How do you get all this knowledge of
information?"

"From observation, Mrs. Sampson," I tells her. "I keep my eyes open
when I go about the world."

"Mr. Pratt," says she, "I always did admire a man of education. There
are so few scholars among the sap-headed plug-uglies of this town that
it is a real pleasure to converse with a gentleman of culture. I'd be
gratified to have you call at my house whenever you feel so inclined."

And that was the way I got the goodwill of the lady in the yellow
house. Every Tuesday and Friday evening I used to go there and tell
her about the wonders of the universe as discovered, tabulated, and
compiled from nature by Herkimer. Idaho and the other gay Lutherans of
the town got every minute of the rest of the week that they could.

I never imagined that Idaho was trying to work on Mrs. Sampson with
old K. M.'s rules of courtship till one afternoon when I was on my way
over to take her a basket of wild hog-plums. I met the lady coming
down the lane that led to her house. Her eyes was snapping, and her
hat made a dangerous dip over one eye.
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