of absolute fidelity to high-set aims, which I yet believe it must
be in every man's power to live. Which is the more to be
despised--he who perceives a higher path and lacks the resolution
to adhere to it, or he who trots along the common road out of sheer
short-sightedness? Clearly the first. I am a worm. (You have
probably heard this before.)

Well, I am not a very gay companion; I shall leave you for to-day,
sweetest.

EMILIA.




LETTER IX.


Sunday evening.

I have made a fool of myself; and yet I am happier to-night than I
have been this many a day, for I have at least shown myself honest.
I did it foolishly, thoughtlessly, I know, and yet,--well, I don't
regret it.

I went to church this morning for the last time. I went with Aunt
Caroline, as usual, but, as I knelt beside her on entering the pew,
I was seized with a great horror of myself. There was I, hypocrite,
with silent lips and silent heart, feigning to share in the simple
fervour around me, denying my own faith, insulting that of another.