fé_ from her barred window. It is no strain upon the imagination to
conjure up the picture of her fine rage, her threatening hands, her
compressed lips, her tearless, flashing eyes, as she saw her beautiful
new wheel writhe and twist on the blazing fagots. But what the deuce
was a poor duke to do with a niece like this?

For a time I feared that the United States and the Grand Duchy of
Barscheit would sever diplomatic relations. The bicycle was,
unfortunately, of American make, and the manufacturers wrote to me
personally that they considered themselves grossly insulted over the
action of the duke. Diplomatic notes were exchanged, and I finally
prevailed upon the duke to state that he held the wheel harmless and
that his anger had been directed solely against his niece. This letter
was duly forwarded to the manufacturers, who, after the manner of their
kind, carefully altered the phrasing and used it in their magazine
advertisements. They were so far appeased that they offered me my
selection from the private stock. Happily the duke never read anything
but the _Fliegende Blätter_ and _Jugend_, and thus war was averted.

Later an automobile agent visited the town--at the secret bidding of
her Highness--but he was so unceremoniously hustled over the frontier
that his teeth must have rattled like a dancer's castanets. It was a
great country for expeditiousness, as you will find, if you do me the
honor to follow me to the end.

So the grand duke swore that his niece should wed Doppelkinn, and the
princess vowed that she would not. The man who had charge of my horses
said that one of the palace maids had recounted to him a dialogue which
had taken place between the duke and his niece. As I was anxious to be
off on the road I was compelled to listen to his gossip.