THE THREE DICTATORS.

(_Being a tragedy of the moment and incidentally a guide to the art of
handing out correspondence to the typist._)

I.

There are, of course, as many styles of dictating letters as there
are of writing them; but three stand out. One is the Indignant
Confidential; one the Hesitant Tactful; and one the No-Nonsense
Efficient. Bitter experience in three orderly London houses only a day
or so ago chances to have led to such complete examples of each of
these styles that the reader has the felicity of acquiring at the same
time a valuable insight into business methods and a glimpse of what
Nature in the person of Jack Frost can do with even the best regulated
of cities.

We will take first the Hesitant Tactful, where the typist is not
merely considered as a human being but invited to become an ally. The
dictator is Mr. Vernon Crombie.

"Oh, Miss Carruthers, there's a letter I want to dictate and get off
by hand at once, because my house isn't fit to live in through burst
pipes. The plumbers promised to send yesterday, but didn't, and to-day
they can't come, it seems, and really it's most serious. Ceilings
being ruined, you know. The bore is that there aren't any other
plumbers that I know of, and one is so at the mercy of these people
that we must go very delicately. You understand. We mustn't say a word
to set their backs up any higher than they already are. Anger's no
good in this case. Here we must be tactful, and I want you to help me.