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[Illustration: _Dug-out_ (_who has been put off on the last three
greens by his caddie sneezing, and has now foozled his putt again_).
"CONFOUND YOU! WHY DIDN'T YOU SNEEZE? I WAS COUNTING ON IT."]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

_Wednesday, February 7th._--HIS MAJESTY opened Parliament to-day for
what we all hope will be the Victory Session. But it will not be
victory without effort. That was the burden of nearly all the speeches
made to-day, from the KING'S downwards. HIS MAJESTY, who had left his
crown and robes behind, wore the workmanlike uniform of an Admiral
of the Fleet; and the Peers had forgone their scarlet and ermine in
favour of khaki and sable. When Lord STANHOPE, who moved the Address,
ventured, in the course of an oration otherwise sufficiently sedate,
to remark that "the great crisis of the War had passed," Lord CURZON
was swift to rebuke this deviation into cheerfulness. On the contrary,
he declared, we were now approaching "the supreme and terrible climax
of the War." He permitted himself, however, to impart one or two
comforting items of information with regard to the arming of existing
merchant-ships, the construction of new tonnage and the development of
inventions for the discovery and deletion of submarines. For excellent
reasons, no doubt, it was all a little vague, but in one respect his
statement left nothing to be desired in the way of precision. "The
present Government, in its seven weeks of office, had taken but two
large and one small hotels," and is, I gather, marvelling at its own