iverything else nah days,--it's nowt made on unless it's sharp. It's
a sharp age we live in;--hand-loom waivin' an' stage coaches are all
too slow; iverybody an' iverything keeps growin' sharper. But we
arn't as sharp as what they are i' 'Merica yet--they're too sharp.
They tell me they ha' to lapp thersen up i' haybands afoor they goa to
bed, for fear o' cuttin' th' sheets. Aw heeard tell o' one chap
runnin' a race wi' a flash o' leetnin', an' they say he'd ha' won but
for one ov his gallus buttons comin' off. An' another 'at used to mak
leather garters an' throw 'em ovver his heead, an' he could mak 'em
soa sharp 'at he allus kept one pair flyin'. He worn't a bad hand at
his job, he worn't that. One day aw axed a chap 'at had been, "if
they wor raylee as sharp as what fowk gave 'em credit for?" "Why," he
says, "they wor sharper nor aw liked on, or else aw shouldn't ha' come
back; but aw couldn't get on noa rooad: aw tried two or three
different trades, but aw made nowt aat, an' at last aw set up as
tubthumper; but that wodn't do. They niver wanted ought makkin'--
they wor too sharp for that; they allus brought yo summat to mend;--
becoss they knew a chap couldn't charge as mich for mendin' an owd tub
as for makkin' a new en; soa if they'd ony sooart ov a owd tub lagg,
or a piece of a barrel bottom, they browt it to get mended into a new
tub. Aw did as weel as aw could amang it; but one day a chap comes in
an' says, 'Aw want yo to do a bit o' repairin' for me.' 'Varry gooid,
sur,' says aw, 'an' what might yo be wantin?' 'Well,' he says, 'aw've
an owd bung hoil here, do yo think yo could fit me a fresh barrel to
it?' Aw niver spake for a minit, then aw says, 'wod yo be gooid enuff
to lend me a hand to put theas shuts up?' 'Wi' pleasure, sur,' he
said, an' he did, an' aw left th' job an' coom hooam, for aw thowt
they wor rayther too sharp." Mun, a chap can be too sharp sometimes.
My advice is, be as sharp as yo like, if yo're sharp in a reight way,
but thers some things it's as weel to be slow abaat. Be slow to do a