while her heart was filled with this mild warmth for me, mine began to
burn with the flame that discolors everything, and I saw her
friendliness in a very distorting light. She was much kinder to me
than to most men, but I did not see that it was by reason of my
absolute harmlessness; and, I suppose, because I was a vain fool, I
gradually began to gather hope--which goes with every vain man's
love--and what is more, actually climbed to the very apex of idiocy
and declared myself. I well knew the infinite distance between us; but
like every other man who came within the circle of this charming
lodestone I lost my head, and, in short, made a greater fool of myself
than I naturally was--which is saying a good deal for that time in my
life, God knows!

I knew vaguely but did not fairly realize how utterly beyond my reach
in every way she was until I opened the flood-gates of my passion--as
I thought it--and saw her smile, and try to check the coming laugh.
Then came a look of offended dignity, followed by a quick softening
glance.

"Leave me one friend, I pray you, Edwin. I value you too highly to
lose, and esteem you too much to torment. Do not make of yourself one
of those fools who feel, or pretend to feel, I care not which, such
preference for me. You cannot know in what contempt a woman holds a
man who follows her though she despises him. No man can beg a woman's
love; he must command it; do not join their ranks, but let us be good
friends. I will tell you the plain truth; it would be no different
were we both of the same degree; even then I could not feel toward you
as you think you wish, but I can be your friend, and will promise to
be that always, if you will promise never again to speak of this to
me."