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The Sea-Gull by Anton Pavlovich Chekhov
page 82 of 85 (96%)

NINA. Why do you say that you have kissed the ground I walked on? You
should kill me rather. [She bends over the table] I am so tired. If I
could only rest--rest. [She raises her head] I am a sea-gull--no--no,
I am an actress. [She hears ARKADINA and TRIGORIN laughing in the
distance, runs to the door on the left and looks through the keyhole] He
is there too. [She goes back to TREPLIEFF] Ah, well--no matter. He
does not believe in the theatre; he used to laugh at my dreams, so that
little by little I became down-hearted and ceased to believe in it too.
Then came all the cares of love, the continual anxiety about my little
one, so that I soon grew trivial and spiritless, and played my parts
without meaning. I never knew what to do with my hands, and I could not
walk properly or control my voice. You cannot imagine the state of mind
of one who knows as he goes through a play how terribly badly he is
acting. I am a sea-gull--no--no, that is not what I meant to say. Do you
remember how you shot a seagull once? A man chanced to pass that way and
destroyed it out of idleness. That is an idea for a short story, but it
is not what I meant to say. [She passes her hand across her forehead]
What was I saying? Oh, yes, the stage. I have changed now. Now I am a
real actress. I act with joy, with exaltation, I am intoxicated by it,
and feel that I am superb. I have been walking and walking, and thinking
and thinking, ever since I have been here, and I feel the strength of
my spirit growing in me every day. I know now, I understand at last,
Constantine, that for us, whether we write or act, it is not the honour
and glory of which I have dreamt that is important, it is the strength
to endure. One must know how to bear one's cross, and one must have
faith. I believe, and so do not suffer so much, and when I think of my
calling I do not fear life.

TREPLIEFF. [Sadly] You have found your way, you know where you are
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