Malinda Jane, for whose amusement all this was designed, did not seem
more enthusiastic than myself. Most of her time was spent in a corner,
staring confusedly at the assembled company, and contemplating in silent
amazement the volubility of her respected parent.

In addition to toning down my exuberance with the softening influence of
ladies' society, Mrs. Lawk decided on a course of restriction. My
allowance of clean linen suddenly diminished one-half and under no
circumstances was I to presume to take a fresh pocket-handkerchief more
than once in two days. She changed the dinner-hour, and declared supper
(except for Malinda Jane, poor dear!) strictly prohibited. For a time I
mitigated the last grievance by eating oysters; but, an unlucky burst of
confidence having divulged the dissipation, a solemn lecture on my duty
to my family was its quietus. Every article of food was put under lock
and key, the night-latch was changed, and Mrs. Lawk, in addition to her
duties as jailer to Master Moses Alphonso, constituted herself turnkey
of the establishment. The parlor, except when we "received," was
declared forbidden ground: her dismay at finding my papers there, one
evening, was perfectly heart-rending. There was a sudden inquiry
concerning my loose change, and I was furnished with a memorandum-book
in which to write down my daily disbursements. Frequent visits to the
opera (oh, the torture of those evenings!) had been an invariable rule
with the Mountchessingtons; and, at the risk of rendering impotent the
tympanum of both ears, I was compelled to continue that respectable
custom. Persons occupying our position should be careful with whom they
associated; and the character of my companions underwent a severe
investigation. She even interfered with my business, and declared the
soap brokerage (one of my most lucrative departments) utterly beneath a
gentleman. One by one my little personal comforts faded away. Symptoms
of annoyance, persistently repeated, whenever I took off my coat or put