With renewed congratulations,
Believe me, yours sincerely,
HENRY J. FORDYCE.

By the way, what is a calculus? Could one be obtained in Surbury, or
would it be necessary to order from the Army and Navy Stores?

This brought forth:--

SIR,--I greatly regret that my latest publications should have caught
your eye, and look on your congratulations as a studied insult.

I should hardly expect a person of your (as I imagine) limited
intellect to know anything about the scientific subjects which
interest me, but I feel sure that you are perfectly aware that the
calculus is abstract and not concrete.

Had you tried to convey sincere congratulations to me I could have
borne the infliction with resignation, but I strongly object to such
flippant impertinences as are contained in your communication.

Faithfully yours,
FREDERICK PETHERTON.

I felt this was a good start, and so put out more bait:--

DEAR PETHERTON (I wrote),--Sorry you couldn't accept my letter in the
spirit, etc.

I've had such a priceless idea since I wrote to you last, and it is