you, nor have I purposed doing so; but I have no defender to speak for
me except the truth, and as this is known to me alone, I am forced to
utter it fearlessly in the hope that, when you know it, you will not
hold me for such as you have been pleased to name me. I fear not that
any living being should learn how I have comported myself in the matter
that is laid to my charge, for I know that I have offended neither
against God nor against my honour. And this it is that enables me to
speak without fear; for I feel sure that He who sees my heart is on my
side, and with such a Judge in my favour, I were wrong to fear such as
are subject to His decision. Why should I weep? My conscience and my
heart do not at all rebuke me, and so far am I from repenting of this
matter, that, were it to be done over again, I should do just the same.
But you, madam, have good cause to weep both for the deep wrong that you
have done me throughout my youth, and for that which you are now doing
me, in rebuking me publicly for a fault that should be laid at your door
rather than at mine. Had I offended God, the King, yourself, my kinsfolk
or my conscience, I were indeed obstinate and perverse if I did
not greatly repent with tears; but I may not weep for that which
is excellent, just and holy, and which would have received only
commendation had you not made it known before the proper time. In
doing this, you have shown that you had a greater desire to compass my
dishonour than to preserve the honour of your house and kin. But, since
such is your pleasure, madam, I have nothing to say against it; command
me what suffering you will, and I, innocent though I am, will be as
glad to endure as you to inflict it. Wherefore, madam, you may charge
my father to inflict whatsoever torment you would have me undergo, for
I well know that he will not fail to obey you. It is pleasant to know
that, to work me ill, he will wholly fall in with your desire, and that
as he has neglected my welfare in submission to your will, so will he
be quick to obey you to my hurt. But I have a Father in Heaven, and He