burnt with a zeal not my own. The old sisters were zealous sometimes,
and at other times would sink under the cross. Thus they grew cold, at
which I was much grieved. I proposed to them to ask the elders to send
a brother, which was concluded upon.

We went on for several years, and the Lord was with us with great
power it proved, to the conversion of many souls, and we continued to
grow stronger.

I felt at times that I must exercise in the ministry, but when I rose
upon my feet I felt ashamed, and so I went under a cloud for some
time, and endeavoured to keep silence; but I could not quench the
Spirit. I was rejected by the elders and rulers, as Christ was
rejected by the Jews before me, and while others were excused in
crimes of the darkest dye, I was hunted down in every place where I
appointed a meeting. Wading through many sorrows, I thought at times I
might as well be banished from this life, as to feel the Almighty
drawing me one way, and man another; so that I was tempted to cast
myself into the dock. But contemplating the length of eternity, and
how long my sufferings would be in that unchangeable world, compared
with this, if I endured a little longer, the Lord was pleased to
deliver me from this gloomy, melancholy state in his own time; though
while this temptation lasted I roved up and down, and talked and
prayed.

I often felt that I was unfit to assemble with the congregation with
whom I had gathered, and had sometimes been made to rejoice in the
Lord. I felt that I was despised on account of this gracious calling,
and was looked upon as a speckled bird by the ministers to whom I
looked for instruction, and to whom I resorted every opportunity for