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Olympian Nights by John Kendrick Bangs
page 17 of 130 (13%)
The point that differentiates one ear from another is the angle at
which it is set from the head. The angle, according to the most
scientific students of the organ of hearing, is the basis of the
estimate of the individual. Therefore, to convince the wealthy persons
at home that large sums of money are expected of them to preserve the
life of the father of the family, the truly expert bandit must send
something besides the ear itself, which, when cut off, has no angle
whatsoever. If I, who am no bandit, and who have not studied the art
of the banditti, may make a suggestion which may prove valuable to the
highwaymen of Italy and Greece, the only sure method of identifying
the individual lies in the cutting off of the head of the victim, by
which means alone the identity of the person to be ransomed may be
settled beyond all question. As one who has suffered, I will say that
I would not send a check for $20,000 to a bandit on the testimony of
one ear any more than I would lend a man ten dollars on his own
representation as to the meals he had not had, the drinks he wanted,
or the date upon which he would pay it back.

All these ideas flashed across my mind as I lay there worn in spirit
and chilled to the bone. At last, however, after a considerable
effort, I gathered myself together and resolved to investigate. I rose
up, stood uncertainly on my feet, and was about to make my way towards
the sources of the unexpected light, when a dark figure rushed past
me. I tried to speak to it.

"Hello, there!" said I, hoping to gain its attention and ask its
advice, since it came into the cavern in that breezy fashion which
betokens familiarity with surroundings. The being, whatever it really
was, and I was soon to find this out, turned a scornful and really
majestic face upon me, as much as to say, "Who are you that should
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