"I have called, Madam, to ask if you are satisfied with your laundry."

"Far from it," I said. "It is kind of you to ask, but why?"

"Because I wish to solicit your custom for the laundry I represent."

"What faults do you specialise in?" I inquired.

"I beg your pardon, Madam?"

"Will you send home my husband's collars with an edge like a
dissipated saw?"

The young woman's face brightened with comprehension.

"Oh, no, Madam," she replied. "We exercise the greatest care with
gentlemen's stand-up collars."

"Will you shrink my combinations to the size of a doll's?"

An expression of horror invaded her countenance. "The utmost
precaution," she asserted, "is taken to prevent the shrinkage of
woollens."

"Is it your custom to send back towels reduced to two hems connected
by a few stray rags in the middle?"

The young woman was aghast. "All towels are handled as gently as
possible to avoid tearing," she replied.