Shall tyrannize in Trinity, and domineer in 'John's.'
Then, instead of May Term races in the science grand
of rowing,
There'll be constant competition in the subtle art
of sewing.
Soon the modern undergraduate, with a feather in her hat,
Shall parade the streets of Cambridge, followed
by her faithful cat.
From Parker's Piece and Former's shall be banished
bat and wicket,
For crotchet work and knitting shall supplant the
game of cricket,
Save whene'er a match at croquet once a Term is
played at Girton
By the Members of "the College" and the Moralists
of Merton.
Then no tandems shall be driven, and no more
athletic sports,
Save fancy balls and dances, shall appear in
"Field" reports:
And instead of 'pots' and 'pewters' to promote
the art of walking,
We shall have a silver medal for proficiency in talking.
Wranglers fair shall daily wrangle, who no
Mathematics ken;
Lady preachers fill the pulpit, lady critics
wield the pen.
O ye gallant, gallant heroes who the River's
head have won,
Little know ye what an era of confusion hath begun.