and Andy Tucker engaged to help us in that little matrimonial agency
scheme we floated out in Cairo.

"When you've got enough advertising capital--say a roll as big as the
little end of a wagon tongue--there's money in matrimonial agencies.
We had about $6,000 and we expected to double it in two months, which
is about as long as a scheme like ours can be carried on without
taking out a New Jersey charter.

"We fixed up an advertisement that read about like this:


"Charming widow, beautiful, home loving, 32 years, possessing
$3,000 cash and owning valuable country property, would remarry.
Would prefer a poor man with affectionate disposition to one with
means, as she realizes that the solid virtues are oftenest to be
found in the humble walks of life. No objection to elderly man
or one of homely appearance if faithful and true and competent
to manage property and invest money with judgment. Address, with
particulars.

Lonely,
Care of Peters & Tucker, agents, Cairo, Ill.


"'So far, so pernicious,' says I, when we had finished the literary
concoction. 'And now,' says I, 'where is the lady.'

"Andy gives me one of his looks of calm irritation.