he lived happily for twenty-six years without any quarrel. This monument
is erected by said Maria Pypelings Rubens to her sweetest and
well-deserved husband."

Of course, no one knew then that one of the seven--the youngest son of
Jan and Maria--was to win deathless fame, or that might have been carved
on the slab, too, even if something else had to be omitted.

But Maria need not have added that last clause, stating who it was that
placed the tablet: as it stands we should all have known that it was she
who dictated the inscription. Epitaphs are proverbially untruthful; hence
arose the saying, "He lies like an epitaph." The woman who can not evolve
a good lie in defense of the man she loves is unworthy of the name of
wife.

The lie is the weapon of defense that kind Providence provides for the
protection of the oppressed. "Women are great liars," said Mahomet;
"Allah in his wisdom made them so."

Hail, Maria Rubens! turned to dust these three hundred years, what star
do you now inhabit? or does your avatar live somewhere here in this
world? At the thought of your unselfish loyalty and precious fibbing, an
army of valiant, ghostly knights will arise from their graves, and rusty
swords leap from their scabbards if aught but good be said against thee.

"Ho, ho! and wasn't your husband really guilty, and didn't you know it
all the time?" I'll fling my glove full in the face of any man who dare
ask you such a question.

Beloved and loving wife for six-and-twenty years, and mother of seven,