'tell your master in what condition you find me.'

"The assistant apologized and withdrew. La Palferine, seeing the young
man on the landing, rose in the attire celebrated in verse in
_Britannicus_ to add, 'Remark the stairs! Pay particular attention to
the stairs; do not forget to tell him about the stairs!'

"In every position into which chance has thrown La Palferine, he has
never failed to rise to the occasion. All that he does is witty and
never in bad taste; always and in everything he displays the genius of
Rivarol, the polished subtlety of the old French noble. It was he who
told that delicious anecdote of a friend of Laffitte the banker. A
national fund had been started to give back to Laffitte the mansion in
which the Revolution of 1830 was brewed, and this friend appeared at
the offices of the fund with, 'Here are five francs, give me a hundred
sous change!'--A caricature was made of it.--It was once La
Palferine's misfortune, in judicial style, to make a young girl a
mother. The girl, not a very simple innocent, confessed all to her
mother, a respectable matron, who hurried forthwith to La Palferine
and asked what he meant to do.

"'Why, madame,' said he, 'I am neither a surgeon nor a midwife.'

"She collapsed, but three or four years later she returned to the
charge, still persisting in her inquiry, 'What did La Palferine mean
to do?'

"'Well, madame,' returned he, 'when the child is seven years old, an
age at which a boy ought to pass out of women's hands'--an indication
of entire agreement on the mother's part--'if the child is really