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Russian Rambles by Isabel Florence Hapgood
page 13 of 331 (03%)
double _o_, never was invented! There is no letter _h_ in the Russian
alphabet, and it is customary to supply the deficiency with the letter
_g_, leaving the utterer to his fate as to which of the two legitimate
sounds--the foreign or the native--he is to produce. It affords a
test of cultivation parallel to that involved in giving a man a knife
and fork with a piece of pie, and observing which he uses. That is the
American shibboleth. Lomonosoff, the famous founder of Russian literary
language in the last century, wrote a long rhymed strophe, containing a
mass of words in which the _g_ occurs legitimately and illegitimately,
and wound up by wailing out the query, "Who can emerge from the crucial
test of pronouncing all these correctly, unimpeached?" That is the
Russian shibboleth.

As a result of this peculiarity, our passports came back from each trip
to the police office indorsed with a brand-new version of our name. We
figured under Gepgud, Gapgod, Gabgot, and a number of other disguises,
all because they persisted in spelling by the eye, and would not accept
my perfect phonetic version. The same process applied to the English
name Wylie has resulted in the manufacture of Villie. And the pleasant
jest of it all was that we never troubled ourselves to sort our
passports, because, although there existed not the slightest family
resemblance even between my mother and myself, we looked exactly alike
in those veracious mirrors. This explained to our dull comprehension how
the stories of people using stolen passports could be true. However, the
Russians were not to blame for this particular absurdity. It was the
fault of the officials in America.

On the occasion to which I refer, we had gone out of St. Petersburg, and
had left a written order for the post-office authorities to forward our
mail to our new address. The bank officials, who should certainly have
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