wor an old chap, an' lived in a little haase to hissen, an' gate a
livin' wi' quack-docterin' a bit; an' whativer anybody ailed, he'd some
pills at wor sure to cure 'em; soa, as John had been sufferin' a long'
time, he thought he'd goa an' have a bit o' tawk wi' him, an' see if he
could get any gooid done.

It chonced, as luck let, at Jim wor at hooam, an' he invited him in, but
as he'd nobbut one cheer, John had to sit o'th' edge o'th' long table.

"Well, John," he sed, "an' what's browt thee here this mornin'?"

"Nay, nowt 'at means mich, Jim; but aw've heeard a gooid deal o' tawk
abaght thy pills, an' aw thowt they'd happen do me a bit o' gooid; but
aw wanted to have a bit o' tawk to thee th' first abaght it, for tha
knows one sooart o' physic doesn't do for iverybody."

"Tha'rt just mistakken abaght that, John, for my pills cure owt; they're
oppenin' pills, an' although aw'm a chap 'at doesn't like to crack
abaght misen, aw con just tell thee a thing or two 'at'll mak thee
stare."

"Well, that's what aw want, Jim, s'oa get on wi' thy tellin'."

"Aw hardly know whear to begin, but, hasumiver, aw'll tell thee one
thing: ther's lots o' fowk livin' raand abaght here 'at's been oppen'd
by em, an' to some tune too; an' although aw consider physic an evil at
all times, still my pills must be regarded as a necessary evil. A chap
once coom to see me, an' browt a lot o' oysters, but he wor fast ha to
get into 'em; aw made noa moor to do but just put two or three pills
amang 'em, an' they wor oppen'd in a minit. He sed he'd niver seen sich