noa encouragement. Its noa use tryin to suit a woman for it cannot be
done. Aw see nowt for it but to goa on i'th same old way, an after all,
old fowk can nivver be young agean. Well, ther's one comfort,--shoo's
gein me a shillin. Vartue is its own reward."




Sheffield Smook.


Mister Sydney Algernon Horne, wor a weel to do chap, as yo'll gather
thro' his name, for parents dooant give ther child sich fine names
unless thers a bit o' brass behind em. If owd Horne, Sydney's feyther,
had been a poor warkin man, he'd ha called th' lad Tom, or Bill, or
happen Mike; but as he wor a gentleman, wi Bank shares, an Cottage haase
property, he dubbed th' lad Sydney Algernon as aw've telled yo. Aw think
its nobbut reight at aw should tell yo at this rewl abaat names doesn't
allus hold gooid, for ther's a mucky, dirty nooased, draggle-tail'd lass
lives up awr yard, wi frowsy hair at couldn't be straightened wi nowt
short ov a cooambin machine; shoo hasn't a hawpney to bless hersen wi,
an yet shoo's called Victoria Hujaney, after th' Queen o' these lands,
an Ex-Empress o'th French.

But aw must get on wi mi tale, or else yo'll happen be thinkin 'at awm
nivver baan to tell it. Mister Sydney Algernon Horne faand hissen an
orphan at three an twenty year owd, an th' owner o' all th' Bank Shares
an th' Cottages, besides th' haase he lived in, which wor a varry nice
one wi a big garden, an situated, as th' advertisements says, in the
mooast salubrious pairt o' Sheffield.