Now pause!--During my journey I might dream, and with buoyant wings reach
the summit of life's high edifice. Now that I am arrived at its base, my
pinions are furled, the mighty stairs are before me, and step by step I
must ascend the wondrous fane--

Speak!--What door is opened?

Behold me in a new capacity. A diplomatist: one among the pleasure-seeking
society of a gay city; a youth of promise; favourite of the Ambassador. All
was strange and admirable to the shepherd of Cumberland. With breathless
amaze I entered on the gay scene, whose actors were

--the lilies glorious as Solomon,
Who toil not, neither do they spin.

Soon, too soon, I entered the giddy whirl; forgetting my studious hours,
and the companionship of Adrian. Passionate desire of sympathy, and ardent
pursuit for a wished-for object still characterized me. The sight of beauty
entranced me, and attractive manners in man or woman won my entire
confidence. I called it rapture, when a smile made my heart beat; and I
felt the life's blood tingle in my frame, when I approached the idol which
for awhile I worshipped. The mere flow of animal spirits was Paradise, and
at night's close I only desired a renewal of the intoxicating delusion. The
dazzling light of ornamented rooms; lovely forms arrayed in splendid
dresses; the motions of a dance, the voluptuous tones of exquisite music,
cradled my senses in one delightful dream.

And is not this in its kind happiness? I appeal to moralists and sages. I
ask if in the calm of their measured reveries, if in the deep meditations