with regard to Adrian, that his purse was open to me; that one in soul, as
we were, our fortunes ought also to be common. I could never, while with
him, think of his bounty as a remedy to my poverty; and I even put aside
hastily his offers of supplies, assuring him of a falsehood, that I needed
them not. How could I say to this generous being, "Maintain me in idleness.
You who have dedicated your powers of mind and fortune to the benefit of
your species, shall you so misdirect your exertions, as to support in
uselessness the strong, healthy, and capable?"

And yet I dared not request him to use his influence that I might obtain an
honourable provision for myself--for then I should have been obliged to
leave Windsor. I hovered for ever around the walls of its Castle, beneath
its enshadowing thickets; my sole companions were my books and my loving
thoughts. I studied the wisdom of the ancients, and gazed on the happy
walls that sheltered the beloved of my soul. My mind was nevertheless idle.
I pored over the poetry of old times; I studied the metaphysics of Plato
and Berkeley. I read the histories of Greece and Rome, and of England's
former periods, and I watched the movements of the lady of my heart. At
night I could see her shadow on the walls of her apartment; by day I viewed
her in her flower-garden, or riding in the park with her usual companions.
Methought the charm would be broken if I were seen, but I heard the music
of her voice and was happy. I gave to each heroine of whom I read, her
beauty and matchless excellences--such was Antigone, when she guided the
blind Oedipus to the grove of the Eumenides, and discharged the funeral
rites of Polynices; such was Miranda in the unvisited cave of Prospero;
such Haidee, on the sands of the Ionian island. I was mad with excess of
passionate devotion; but pride, tameless as fire, invested my nature, and
prevented me from betraying myself by word or look.

In the mean time, while I thus pampered myself with rich mental repasts, a