By a process of which, since the days of Scheherazade, we alone possess
the secret, we have flown over Kent, skimmed the Channel, sped across
the uninteresting plains of Picardy, and are seated at dinner--where? In
the spacious saloon of the _Hotel des Princes_, at the succulent table
of the _Café de Paris_, or in the gaudy and dazzling apartments of the
_Maison Dorée_? No matter. Or let us choose the last, the _Maison
Dédorée_ as it has been called, its external gilding having ill resisted
the assaults of winter's snows and summer's parching heat. But although,
as Mr. Moore of Ireland has informed us, all that's bright must fade, it
follows not that the substantial deteriorates with the superficial. And
the cookery of the _Maison Dorée_ has improved as its gilding has rubbed
off, until even the _Café de Paris_ and the far-famed _Trois Frères_
must veil their inferior charms before the manifold perfections of this
Apician sanctuary. Here, then, we establish ourselves, in this snug
embrasure, whence we have a full view of the throng of diners, whilst
plate glass and a muslin curtain alone intervene between us and the
broad asphalt of the Boulevard. A morocco book, a sheet of vellum, and a
pencil, are before us. We write a dozen lines, and hand them to our
companion; he reads, nods approval, and transfers the precious document
to the smug and expectant waiter. The sharp eye of that Ganymede of the
Gilt House had at once detected our Britannic origin, conspicuous in our
sober garb and shaven chins; and doubtless he anticipated one of those
uncouth bills of fare, infamous by their gastronomical solecisms, which
Englishmen are apt to perpetrate, for he smiles with an air of agreeable
disappointment as he glances at our judicious _menu_. No cause for
wonder, most dapper of _garçons_! 'Tis not the first time, by many, that
we have tabled our Napoleons on your damask napery. Schooled by
indigestion, like Dido by misfortune, we have learned to order our
dinner, even at Paris; and are no more to be led astray in the labyrinth
of your interminable _carte_, than you, versed in the currency of