dangerous, and are contempt and humiliation my only reward? O,
mankind, where is your gratitude? Think, generous reader, on the
services I have so often rendered you: think how often, when you
were about to enter upon the stupendous folio, or the dull and
massy quarto, four inches at least in thickness, think, O think,
how often my timely, though unpromising appearance, has warned you
not to encumber your brain with the incalculable load of lumber!
With me, then, let the glorious work of reformation commence,
restore me to the honour and esteem I so justly deserve. I, for my
part, shall still continue to be a spy upon stupidity, and oft
shall you receive the reward of your benevolence from my friendly
and seasonable admonitions."

"Hezekiah Shortcut,
O tempora! O mores!"

The poem is in two cantos: the first of which thus opens,--

Long have I viewed the folly and the sin
That fill this wicked globe of ours, call'd earth,
And once a secret impulse felt within
My bosom, to convert it into mirth;
But then the voice of pity, softly sighing,
Hinted the subject was more fit for crying.

Democritus was once a Grecian sage--
A famous man, as every one must know--
But rather fond of sneering at the age,
And turning into laughter human wo;
Another sage, Heraclitus to wit,