pupils, "You have many scholars among the gods," he said to the master.
On being asked at what time it was proper to dine, "If you are rich,
when you will; if poor, when you can," he replied, perhaps a little
sadly; and to "What wine do you like to drink?" he quickly responded
"Another man's." Meeting one, Anaximenes, a very fat man, he called out,
"Give us poor fellows some of your stomach; it will be a great relief to
you, and an advantage to us."

That Diogenes recognised humour as a means of drawing attention and
impressing the memory, is shown by the story that on one occasion, when
he was speaking seriously and found no one attending, he began to
imitate the singing of birds, and when he had thus collected a crowd,
told them they were ready to hear folly but not wisdom. There was also,
probably, in adopting this form a desire to preclude the possibility of
his being contradicted. He was thus proof against criticism--if his
statements were said to be false--well, they were intended to be so;
while, if they raised a laugh, there was an admission that they
contained some seeds of truth. The following are examples of his
disguised wisdom:--

On being asked when a man should marry, "A young man not yet; an old man
not at all," he replied. "Why men gave money to beggars and not to
philosophers?" "Because they think they may themselves become blind and
lame, but never philosophers." When Perdiccas threatened that unless he
came to him he would kill him, "You would do no great thing," he
replied, "even a beetle or a spider could do that."

We can scarcely suppose that all the sayings attributed to Diogenes are
genuine. There has always been a tendency to attribute to great men
observations made in accordance with their manner.