WOMAN

BY HORACE PORTER


Mr. President and Gentlemen:--When this toast was proposed to me, I
insisted that it ought to be responded to by a bachelor, by some one who
is known as a ladies' man; but in these days of female proprietorship it
is supposed that a married person is more essentially a ladies' man than
anybody else, and it was thought that only one who had the courage to
address a lady could have the courage, under these circumstances, to
address the New England Society.

The toast, I see, is not in its usual order to-night. At public dinners
this toast is habitually placed last on the list. It seems to be a
benevolent provision of the Committee on Toasts in order to give man in
replying to Woman one chance at least in life of having the last word.
At the New England dinners, unfortunately the most fruitful subject of
remark regarding woman is not so much her appearance as her
disappearance. I know that this was remedied a few years ago, when this
grand annual gastronomic high carnival was held in the Metropolitan
Concert Hall. There, ladies were introduced into the galleries to grace
the scene by their presence; and I am sure the experiment was
sufficiently encouraging to warrant repetition, for it was beautiful to
see the descendants of the Pilgrims sitting with eyes upturned in true
Puritanic sanctity it was encouraging to see the sons of those pious
sires devoting themselves, at least for one night, to setting their