chance when she is not near, and let off the cold air in the radiator
until the warm air comes, and then close it. I add coal to the fire,
saying to myself, "This castle belongs to the Province, and so do I. We
have a right to all the comforts of life here, and especially so when
five dollars a week is paid for our board; let us have a nice fire and
bask in its comforting rays." I love the heat; if the seats at the grate
get filled up, I come back to the radiator. Perhaps it is warm enough to
afford to have the window open a few moments, to let the impure air
escape--just a little of it; then I sit close by it, calling it my
kitchen fire-place. I am regulating the comfort of this ward in a
measure, but they don't know it.


February.--My dear Lewis has been to see me today. We chat together as
usual; how can he think me crazy? Dr. Steeves tells him I am, I suppose,
and so he thinks it must be so. He is so happy to see me looking better;
he is more loving than ever; he holds my hand in his and tells me he
will take me out for a drive when the weather is fine. And I said, "Oh
Lewis, my dear boy, I am well enough to go home with you to your hotel
now." I so long for some of Mrs. Burns' good dinners; her meals are all
nice, and here we have such horrid stuff. Dark-colored, sour bakers'
bread, with miserable butter, constitutes our breakfast and tea; there
is oatmeal porridge and cheap molasses at breakfast, but I could not eat
that, it would be salts and senna for me. At noon we have plenty of meat
and vegetables, indifferently cooked, but we don't require food suitable
for men working out of doors. We need something to tempt the appetite a
little.

No matter what I say, how earnestly I plead, he believes Dr. Steeves in
preference to me. If I should die here, he will still believe Dr.