A gentleman told a story of an English bishop travelling in a
third-class railway carriage with an individual who was swearing most
tremendously, originally, and picturesquely, till finally the bishop
said to him: "My dear sir, where in the world did you learn to swear in
that extraordinary manner?" And he said, "It can't be learned, it is a
gift." After-dinner speaking is a gift I have often envied, ladies and
gentlemen, and as I have not it I can only promise to tell you what I
really think on the subject which I am here to speak about to-night.

I feel that in inviting me here as the representative of the South to
speak on this occasion, I could not do you any better honor than to tell
you precisely what I do think and what those, I in a manner represent,
think; and I do not know that our views would differ very materially
from yours. I could not, if I would, undertake merely to be entertaining
to you. I am very much in that respect like an old darky I knew of down
in Virginia, who on one occasion was given by his mistress some
syllabub. It was spiced a little with--perhaps--New England rum, or
something quite as strong that came from the other side of Mason and
Dixon's Line, but still was not very strong. When he got through she
said, "How did you like that?" He said, "If you gwine to gimme foam,
gimme foam; but if you gwine to gimme dram, gimme dram." You do not want
from me syllabub I am sure.

When I came here I had no idea that I was to address so imposing an
assemblage as this. I had heard about forefathers and knew that there
were foremothers also, but did not know that they were going to grace
this assembly with their presence as they do to-night. When a youngster,
I was told by an old gentleman, before the day of the unhappy
stenographer, "You can go out in the world all right if you have four
speeches. If you have one for the Fourth of July, one for a tournament