"When you consent, consent cordially;
When you refuse, refuse finally;
When you punish, punish good-naturedly."




XI

FORMING CHARACTER


And now that the little one is two or three years old, it may be well to
say a few words about his general training in character and habits.
There is a strong, and a not unnatural tendency to maintain an attitude
toward the deaf child that differs from that maintained by sensible
mothers toward their other children. They often set up a different
standard of conduct and of obligation for the afflicted child. His
brothers and sisters are taught to always defer to his wishes; even to
the extent of yielding to improper and selfish demands on his part, and
conceding that they have no rights where he is concerned. He is not
required to perform the little duties demanded of the other children. He
is given privileges which the others do not, and which no one of them,
including himself, should enjoy. He grows tyrannical, domineering, and
selfish. The mother says: "Poor little chap; he has trouble enough, we
must do all in our power to make up to him for what he misses by reason
of his deafness." This is, however, a shortsighted, and really a cruel
policy. It lays up much misery for his future, and in the end proves a
serious handicap to one who needs to have as few additional difficulties
as possible. Though it may seem hard-hearted, it is really kinder to put