But i don't intend this essa for laffing in the lump, but for laffing on
the half-shell.

Laffing iz just az natral tew cum tew the surface az a rat iz tew cum
out ov hiz hole when he wants tew.

Yu kant keep it back by swallowing enny more than yu kan the heekups.

If a man _kan't_ laff there iz sum mistake made in putting him together,
and if he _won't_ laff he wants az mutch keeping away from az a
bear-trap when it iz sot.

I have seen people who laffed altogether too mutch for their own good or
for ennyboddy else's; they laft like a barrell ov nu sider with the tap
pulled out, a perfekt stream.

This is a grate waste ov natral juice.

I have seen other people who didn't laff enuff tew giv themselfs vent;
they waz like a barrell ov nu sider too, that waz bunged up tite, apt
tew start a hoop and leak all away on the sly.

Thare ain't neither ov theze 2 ways right, and they never ought tew be
pattented....

Genuine laffing iz the vent ov the soul, the nostrils of the heart, and
iz just az necessary for health and happiness az spring water iz for a
trout.