And then I learned, confound the luck,
I should have gone to _Keokuk_!




THE DEACON'S TROUT

BY HENRY WARD BEECHER


He was a curious trout. I believe he knew Sunday just as well as Deacon
Marble did. At any rate, the deacon thought the trout meant to aggravate
him. The deacon, you know, is a little waggish. He often tells about
that trout. Sez he, "One Sunday morning, just as I got along by the
willows, I heard an awful splash, and not ten feet from shore I saw the
trout, as long as my arm, just curving over like a bow, and going down
with something for breakfast. Gracious! says I, and I almost jumped out
of the wagon. But my wife Polly, says she, 'What on airth are you
thinkin' of, Deacon? It's Sabbath day, and you're goin' to meetin'! It's
a pretty business for a deacon!' That sort o' cooled me off. But I do
say that, for about a minute, I wished I wasn't a deacon. But 't
wouldn't made any difference, for I came down next day to mill on
purpose, and I came down once or twice more, and nothin' was to be seen,
tho' I tried him with the most temptin' things. Wal, next Sunday I came
along ag'in, and, to save my life I couldn't keep off worldly and
wanderin' thoughts. I tried to be sayin' my catechism, but I couldn't
keep my eyes off the pond as we came up to the willows. I'd got along in
the catechism, as smooth as the road, to the Fourth Commandment, and was