depended on the favourable verdict which conscience should pass on my
proceedings. I saw the emptiness of fame and luxury, when put in the
balance against the recompense of virtue. Never would I purchase the
blandishments of adulation and the glare of opulence at the price of my
honesty.

Amidst these reflections the dinner-hour arrived. The lady and Welbeck
were present. A new train of sentiments now occupied my mind. I regarded
them both with inquisitive eyes. I cannot well account for the
revolution which had taken place in my mind. Perhaps it was a proof of
the capriciousness of my temper, or it was merely the fruit of my
profound ignorance of life and manners. Whencesoever it arose, certain
it is that I contemplated the scene before me with altered eyes. Its
order and pomp was no longer the parent of tranquillity and awe. My wild
reveries of inheriting this splendour and appropriating the affections
of this nymph, I now regarded as lunatic hope and childish folly.
Education and nature had qualified me for a different scene. This might
be the mask of misery and the structure of vice.

My companions as well as myself were silent during the meal. The lady
retired as soon as it was finished. My inexplicable melancholy
increased. It did not pass unnoticed by Welbeck, who inquired, with an
air of kindness, into the cause of my visible dejection. I am almost
ashamed to relate to what extremes my folly transported me. Instead of
answering him, I was weak enough to shed tears.

This excited afresh his surprise and his sympathy. He renewed his
inquiries; my heart was full, but how to disburden it I knew not. At
length, with some difficulty, I expressed my wishes to leave his house
and return into the country.