Turning nervously to Mrs. Chapman he extended his arm, saying: "Pardon,
madam, pardon. You will understand?"

"Oh, certainly, Mr. Gusher," returned the ponderous woman. "You are so
very kind--so very kind, Mr. Gusher."

Never before had Mr. Gusher escorted a woman of such ponderous
circumference. Mattie followed, her roguish smiles indicating that she
enjoyed what she considered a joke played at Mr. Gusher's expense. The
picture presented by the meeting of such extremes was indeed a ludicrous
one.

I will not weary the reader with a description of or explain a family
dinner such as that generally spread by the Chapmans, nor with the many
apologies made by Mrs. Chapman that they had not something better to set
before so distinguished a guest as Mr. Philo Gusher. Chapman was already
seated at the table, busy with a huge fork and carving-knife.

"We don't stand on ceremony here," said he. "Our visitors are always
welcome, and expected to make themselves at home. (Pointing with the
carving-knife to opposite sides of the table.) Take seats, take seats,
now," he concluded.

Mrs. Chapman made a motion to seat Mattie on Mr. Gusher's left, an honor
she did not seem to appreciate, for she insisted on taking a seat
opposite--her proper place.

When dinner was over Mr. Gusher escorted Mattie back into the parlor.
"You shall understand me better, miz, I am sure you shall, as we get