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The Von Toodleburgs - Or, The History of a Very Distinguished Family by F. Colburn (Francis Colburn) Adams
page 46 of 272 (16%)
divided his flock that it was now composed almost exclusively of women.
The men stayed at home and nursed their wrath. And it was good for them
that they did, for the women had things all their own way generally, and
Warren Holbrook, ill-favored and formed, was their idol. The pew rents
ran up, however, and the contributions of a Sunday increased nearly
double. Indeed, the Chapmans felt that they were now on the road to
fortune, and Mrs. Chapman's ambition increased accordingly.

All great enterprises, however, are liable to sudden checks, and
misfortune too often comes when one least expects it. And so it was with
the Reverend Warren Holbrook, the man of the great progressive ideas. He
was discovered paying what ladies of strict propriety regard as more
than ordinary attentions to a fair young damsel, the daughter of one of
the most active members of the church--a woman who had carried her head
high, and was so much given to wearing more finery than her neighbors
that the few friends she had were always ready to say ill-natured things
of her. The young woman was ready enough to embrace matrimony at any
moment; but the attentions she received from the reverend gentleman
caused great distress among a number of other young women of his church.
It was agreed among them that the reverend gentleman was neither
fascinating nor handsome, but he had mind, and was smart. Smart was the
thing a man most needed in a New England village.

I have said before that the mother of this damsel carried a high head,
as well in as out of the church. She seemed also to have more rights
than ordinary females, and would give herself a great deal of
unnecessary trouble in asserting them, so much so that many of her less
strong-handed sisters regarded her with fear. The gentleman's attentions
had not progressed far when it was evident to all attentive observers
that there must soon be a split in the female division of his church.
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