tremors of dignity and rheumatism.

"Kindly allow me to call attention to the fact that in my
recent order of the 18th inst., the specifications
distinctly stated 'love-letters', and _not_ any
correspondence whatsoever,--no matter how exhilarating from
either a 'Gray-Plush Squirrel' or a 'Banda Sea Pirate' as
evidenced by enclosed photograph which I am hereby
returning. Please refund money at once or forward me
without delay a consistent photograph of a 'special edition
de luxe' girl.

"Very truly yours."

The letter was mailed by the janitor long before noon. Even as late as
eleven o'clock that night Stanton was still hopefully expecting an
answer. Nor was he altogether disappointed. Just before midnight a
messenger boy appeared with a fair-sized manilla envelope, quite stiff
and important looking.

"Oh, please, Sir," said the enclosed letter, "Oh, please,
Sir, we cannot refund your subscription money because--we
have spent it. But if you will only be patient, we feel
quite certain that you will be altogether satisfied in the
long run with the material offered you. As for the
photograph recently forwarded to you, kindly accept our
apologies for a very clumsy mistake made here in the office.
Do any of these other types suit you better? Kindly mark
selection and return all pictures at your earliest
convenience."