like writing them in sand. My memory would not take hold of
them; could not keep them; with all my trying I grew only more
and more stupefied and fagged, and less capable of doing what
I had to do. So dinner came, and Miss Pinshon said I might get
myself ready for dinner and after dinner come back again to my
lesson. The lesson must be finished before anything else was
done.

I had no appetite. Preston was in a fume of vexation, partly
roused by my looks, partly by hearing that I was not yet free.
He was enraged beyond prudent speaking, but Miss Pinshon never
troubled herself about his words; and when the first and
second courses were removed, told me I might go to my work.
Preston called to me to stay and have some fruit; but I went
on to the study, not caring for fruit or for anything else. I
felt very dull and miserable. Then I remembered that my
governess probably did care for some fruit and would be
delayed a little while; and then I tried what is the best
preparation for study or anything else. I got down on my
knees, to ask that help which is as willingly given to a child
in her troubles as to the general of an army. I prayed that I
might be patient and obedient and take disagreeable things
pleasantly and do my duty in the multiplication table. And a
breath of rest came over my heart, and a sort of perfume of
remembered things which I had forgotten; and it quite changed
the multiplication table to think that God had given it to me
to learn, and so that some good would certainly come of
learning it; at least the good of pleasing Him. As long as I
dared I staid on my knees; then — I was strong for the fives
and sixes.