papers," I said.

"Those horrid papers!" said Mrs. Sandford. "They make my hair
stand on end. I wouldn't read them; Daisy."

"But you do."

"Well, I cannot keep my hands off them when I see them; but I
wish I was where I could never see them. Ever since I read
General Beauregard's proclamation, I have been in a fury with
everything South; and it is uncomfortable to be in a fury. O
dear! I wish Grant would get well and take us away. Come in
and let us have a cup of tea, dear. Isn't it hot?"

I took the tea and bore the talk, till both were done and I
could shut myself into the seclusion of my own room. And tears
did not come to-night, but dry heart- aching pain instead;
with which I struggled till the night had worn far on.
Struggled, trying to reason it away and to calm it down by
faith and prayer. Ah me! how little reason could do, or faith
either. For reason only affirmed and enlarged my fears; and
faith had no power to say; they might not come true. The
promise, "He shall not be afraid of evil tidings," belongs to
those who have their will so merged in God's will as not to be
careful what that will may be. I had not got so far. A new
lesson was set me in my experience book; even to lay my will
down; and nobody who has not learned or tried to learn that
lesson knows how mortal hard it is. It seemed to me my heart
was breaking the whole livelong night.