Of all the literary fools
Bred in our colleges and schools,
He cuts the greatest caper.

Another cries, I want to see
A jumbled-up variety,
Variety in all things,--
A miscellaneous, hodge-pod print,
Composed (I only give the hint)
Of multifarious small things.

I want some marriage news, says miss:
It constitutes my highest bliss
To hear of weddings plenty;
For in a time of general rain
None suffer from a drought, 'tis plain,--
At least, not one in twenty.

I want to hear of deaths, says one,
Of people totally undone
By losses, fire, or fever:
Another answers full as wise,
I'd rather have a fall and rise
Of raccoon skins and beaver.

Some signify a secret wish
For now and then a favorite dish
Of politics to suit them.
But here we rest at perfect ease,
For should they swear the moon was cheese,