you want a real one, fish it out and fire ahead. If you don't, make one
up for yourself and call it 'The Isle of Piccolo,' or something of that
sort. After you've got your chorus going, introduce your villain, who
should be a man with a deep bass voice and a piratical past. He's the
chap who rules the roost and is going to marry the heroine to-morrow.
That will make a bully song:

"I'm a pirate bold
With a heart so cold
That it turns the biggest joys to solemn sorrow;
And the hero-ine,
With her eyes so fine,
I am going to-marry--to-morrow.

CHORUS:

"He is go-ing to-marry--to-morrow
The maid with a heart full of sorrow;
For her we are sorry
For she weds to-morry--
She is go-ing to-marry--to-morrow.

"Gee!" added the Idiot enthusiastically. "Can't you almost hear that
already?"

"I am sorry to say," said Mr. Brief, "that I can. You ought to call your
heroine Drivelina."

"Splendid," cried the Idiot. "Drivelina goes. Well, then on comes
Drivelina and this beast of a Pirate grabs her by the hand and makes