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The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.) by Various
page 180 of 202 (89%)
appetite, and I took it until I was afraid it would, and then threw it
away. I find that when a man quits tobacco he hasn't anything to look
forward to. I quit for three days once, and on the third day, about the
time I got up from the dinner table, I asked myself: 'Well, now, got
anything to come next?' And all I could see before me was hours of
hankering; and, I gad, I slapped a negro boy on a horse and told him to
gallop over to the store and fetch me a hunk of tobacco. And after I
broke my resolution I thought I'd have a fit there in the yard waiting
for that boy to come back. I don't believe that it's right for a man to
kill any appetite that the Lord has given him. Of course, I don't
believe in the abuse of a good thing, but it's better to abuse it a
little sometimes than not to have it at all. If virtue consists in
deadening the nervous system to all pleasurable influences, why, you may
just mark my name off the list. There was old man Haskill. I sat up with
him the night after he died, and one of the men with me was harping upon
the great life the old fellow had lived--never chewed, never smoked,
never was drunk, never gambled, never did anything except to stand still
and be virtuous--and I couldn't help but feel that he had lost nothing
by dying."




THE TWO YOUNG MEN

BY CAROLYN WELLS


Once on a Time there were Two Young Men of Promising Capabilities.

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