they may be published, and _thus_ have their revenge.

None can tell us how plenty good things are till he looks for them; and
hence, to the great surprise of the Committee, there seemed to be a
sudden growth and a large crop of persons even in and around Woodville,
either already qualified for the "Professorships," as we named them in
our publication, or who _could_ "qualify" by the time of election. As to
the "chair" named also in our publications, one very worthy and
disinterested schoolmaster offered, as a great collateral inducement for
his being elected, "_to find his own chair!_"--a vast saving to the
State, if the same chair I saw in Mr. Whackum's school-room. For his
chair there was one with a hickory bottom; and doubtless he would have
filled it, and even lapped over its edges, with equal dignity in the
recitation room of Big College.

The Committee had, at an early day, given an invitation to the Rev.
Charles Clarence, A.M., of New Jersey, and his answer had been
affirmative; yet for political reasons we had been obliged to invite
competitors, or _make_ them, and we found and created "a right smart
sprinkle."

Hopes of success were built on many things--for instance, on poverty; a
plea being entered that something ought to be done for the poor
fellow--on one's having taught a common school all his born days, who
now deserved to rise a peg--on political, or religious, or fanatical
partizan qualifications--and on pure patriotic principles, such as a
person's having been "born in a canebrake and rocked in a sugar trough."
On the other hand, a fat, dull-headed, and modest Englishman asked for a
place, because he had been born in Liverpool! and had seen the world
beyond the woods and waters, too! And another fussy, talkative,