As soon as Mr. Impertine walked off, I locked, bolted, and barred every
door and window. In ten minutes H. came home.

"Hold the fort till I've seen the owner and the general," he said, as I
locked him out.

Then Dr. B.'s remark in New Orleans about the effect of Dr. C.'s fine
presence on the Confederate officials there came to mind. They are just
the people to be influenced in that way, I thought. I look rather shabby
now; I will dress. I made an elaborate toilet, put on the best and most
becoming dress I had, the richest lace, the handsomest ornaments, taking
care that all should be appropriate to a morning visit; dressed my hair
in the stateliest braids, and took a seat in the parlor ready for the
fray. H. came to the window and said:

"Landlord says, 'Keep them out. Wouldn't let them have his house at any
price.' He is just riding to the country and can't help us now. Now I'm
to see Major C., who sent the order."

Next came an officer, banged at the door till tired, and walked away.
Then the orderly came again and beat the door--same result. Next, four
officers with bundles and lunch-baskets, followed by a wagon-load of
furniture. They went round the house, tried every door, peeped in the
windows, pounded and rapped, while I watched them through the
blind-slats. Presently the fattest one, a real Falstaffian man, came
back to the front door and rang a thundering peal. I saw the chance for
fun and for putting on their own grandiloquent style. Stealing on tiptoe
to the door, I turned the key and bolt noiselessly, and suddenly threw
wide back the door and appeared behind it. He had been leaning on it,
and nearly pitched forward with an "Oh! what's this!" Then seeing me as